Amerrca is the greatest country in the world. Amerrca kicks ass. Aint no country in Amerrca like Amerrca. If you don't like Amerrca, you can get the hell out. Head over to Afghanistan, try to find Amerrca over there. You can't, cuz it's here, right here, in Amerrca. Amerrca is the Land of the Free. Amerrca is a free country. Amerrcans love freedom. Only country in the world that loves freedom more than Amerrca is Hawaii. I love freedom. I love Amerrca. Amerrca is the only place on the planet that matters. Some anti-Amerrcan liberal told me that this planet is called Earth, but it should be called Amerrca. I love Planet Amerrca more than I love my own mother. You know what my mother's name is? Her name's Amerrca. My daughter's name's Amerrca too. I tried to name my son Amerrca too, but I got distracted by an Amerrcan flag on the TV. I ended up naming him President George Washington instead. I didn't give him a middle name. Amerrcan's don't need middle names to kick ass. They just need to be Amerrcan. Sometimes I hold little President George Washington Marion in my arms and I think about how great it is to be an Amerrcan. I watched a firework show for Independance Day, and thought about all the things Amerrca invented, like cars, computers, houses, oil rigs, Cadillacs, and fireworks. Amerrca invented all that stuff because of how Amerrcan it was. Now it's more Amerrcan than ever. Amerrca is the most Amerrcan place on Planet Amerrca. Happy birthday, Amerrca. Goodnight.

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