I used to scoff at health. I was your typical twenty-something bachelor, subsisting mainly on frozen pizza and Taco Bell. I drank very little water, I hardly ever slept, and I maintained a diet rich in sodium, preservatives, and trans-fats. In relatively recent times, I have turned my life around. I gave up Freschetta and fast-food, I drink gallons of bottled water, I get�well�some sleep, I eat balanced nutrition, I even take vitamins. I must feel vastly healthier, my life must be completely revolutionized, right?

There is no discernible difference.

That's right. For all my troubles, all the inconveniences, added expenses, and flavor sacrifices, I really don't feel much better at all. Still just about equally tired, still get sick about equally often�the only thing I have to show for all this effort is Multivitamin urine the color of antifreeze.

Is health a myth? A hoax? Is the whole health movement just an elaborate placebo? Even if there is some difference, does it even come close to equaling out the amount of extra energy spent on living healthy? I don't know what the mathematical formula is, but there needs to be some kind of cost/benefits analysis here.

Cost of Living Healthy:

Giving up the tangy, salt-soaked heaven of Freschetta pizzas

Countless hours lost by home-cooking meals from healthy ingredients

Eating the exact same thing (beans and brown rice, fruit and spinach smoothies) for almost every meal

Extra cost of buying vitamin supplements and healthy food as opposed to the cheap and convenient Four Food Groups of Taco Bell (Nasty Beans, Nasty Meat, Bleached Flour, Nacho Cheese Food Paste Product)

Giving up most forms of Fun in order to go to bed early

Benefits of Living Healthy:

Slightly less general nausea

Neon pee

Maybe a study needs to be done to determine if we should even bother. I've never heard a discussion of whether or not being healthy is really all it's cracked up to be. There are plenty of conflicting health reports being released all the time�"Chocolate is Good For You!"/"Chocolate is Bad For you!", etc�but where is the report declaring "HEALTH MAY BE BAD FOR YOU!" ?


GETTING SHOT MAY PREVENT CANCER

Getting shot, long thought to have serious impact on overall health, may in fact help prevent cancer, according to a new study by the FDA. The study found that people who had been shot by any type of gunpowder-based weapon, from handguns to high-powered rifles, had significantly lower chances of being diagnosed with cancer than people who had not been shot. The study examined a wide range of statistics, dating from the present back to World War II, during which the majority of Americans had been shot, and cancer rates were at their historical lowest. The link between cancer and getting shot was not entirely clear, although some researchers speculated that bullet-lead may be quite high in antioxidants.



By the way, in our last poll, "Which Cultural Element is Making the Strongest Case for the Imminent Downfall of Society?", the winner by a landslide was "The absorption off all music and popular culture into Hip Hop / R&B".
What does this mean, exactly? Is that culture causing a negative impact on the rest of society, or is society just eagerly diving into that pond because it's the easiest, simplest, most digestible route for our generally dumb culture? Discuss.



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