CAST:

REPAIR GUY:
Late forties, easy-talking, confident electronics expert.

CUSTOMER:
Mid-forties, mouthbreathing man in awkwardly baggy clothes, visibly unintelligent.

ISAAC:
Twenty-something guy waiting quietly while his broken laptop is tested.



REPAIR GUY: (To CUSTOMER) Your power cord�s busted. I can get you a new cord for about 50 bucks.

CUSTOMER: What about those other laptops you�re selling? Are they any good?

REPAIR GUY: They�re ok, but yours is newer and more powerful than those ones. I�d just keep yours and replace the power cord.

CUSTOMER: How much would you give me for trade in on this one?

REPAIR GUY: Trade in for what?

CUSTOMER: For one of those other laptops you�re selling.

REPAIR GUY: (confused) What�s wrong with this one?

CUSTOMER: Well it ain�t working.

REPAIR GUY: Yeah but you just need a new power cord. I�ve got one right here, 50 bucks.

CUSTOMER: Yeah but how much would you give me for trade in?

REPAIR GUY: (frustrated) Well, I don�t know, 150, 200 bucks? But I�m telling you, you�re better off just keeping this one, it�s a better computer.

CUSTOMER: (distressed) So what happened to my power cord?

REPAIR GUY: It broke.

CUSTOMER: Why? What happened to it?

REPAIR GUY: They�re just cheap, you know? They�ve got 12 year olds making these things, they break, what are you gonna do?

CUSTOMER: Ok I guess I�ll take the new cord.

REPAIR GUY: Ok. Also I noticed you got no antivirus on here.

CUSTOMER: What�s antivirus?

REPAIR GUY: Keeps viruses off your computer. If you�re surfing the internet and you got no antivirus you�re like a naked 15 year old standing outside the dock bars when the ships come in.

CUSTOMER: (pause) What?

REPAIR GUY: I said you�re like a naked 15 year old standing outside the dock bars when the ships come in. Your computer is.

CUSTOMER: What�s that mean? What happens?

REPAIR GUY: To what?

CUSTOMER: What happens to a naked 15 year old on the docks?

REPAIR GUY: (flabbergasted) Well she�s gonna get sex!

CUSTOMER: (nods) Oh. So my computer�

REPAIR GUY: I�m just tryin� to say your computer is vulnerable if you got no antivirus. They write viruses to look for computers without antivirus.

CUSTOMER: That sounds like it�d be illegal.

REPAIR GUY: Well it�s illegal to spray gang tags on my dumpster out there but they still do it!

CUSTOMER: Yeah but it seems like if they caught someone making viruses--

REPAIR GUY: Look, I�m just saying you should get some antivirus, but that�s up to you.
(Turns to address ISAAC, slightly under his breath) That was pretty good right? A naked 15 year old outside the dock bars when the ships come in?

ISAAC: Uh, yeah, seemed pretty clear to me. Good metaphor.

REPAIR GUY: Thanks.


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