[re-censored by Pvt. Washington Irvine, 6/17/9]

Dear readership,

I have a confession to make.
I haven't been totally [redacted] with you.
It's not because I don't trust you. I do. I gave you my phone number didn't I? I regularly answer your nervous and/or drunken dials don't I?
I don't keep secrets because I want to. Secrecy is forced upon me by Others. But now, finally, I've been given permission to make an announcment. Finally, FULL DISCLOSURE.

As you may have gathered from the vague hints I've been dropping for a while, some big stuff is going on in the North Democratic Republic of Isaac.

What is it? What is that stuff? What?

I've already told you that a major literary agent, Joe Regal, signed on to represent Warm Bodies for publishing. What I haven't told you is that before that even happened, Warm Bodies was optioned for film by one [redacted] producer of such hit films as [redacted], starring [redacted] and the upcoming [redacted], starring thinking-woman's heartthrob [redacted], and [redacted]

What does this mean? It means that [redacted] took Warm Bodies and promptly used her Hollywood clout and intimidating Australian accent to [redacted]. I'm not allowed to tell you which [redacted] until they make the public announcement, but suffice to say it's [redacted]

What does THIS mean? What does THIS part mean?

It means that [redacted]. Whether the [redacted] will actually [redacted] or not is a big unknown, but even if not...I will soon be [redacted] and maybe even be able to spend a little less time hanging out in visitation office cubicles, rehab centers, and reeking crack den apartments.

More as the story continues to [redacted]



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