OUR ROOM MATE SUSAN









�Hey.�

�Hey.�

�You look pretty trashed. Rough night?�

�I�m never drinking again.�

�Yeah, for the rest of the day maybe.�

�What�d you think I meant?�

�God, this place is a disaster. We need to clean.�

�Most of this is Susan�s.�

�Have you seen her yet?�

�Are you kidding? It�s only 11:30. She won�t be up for at least another two hours.�

�I�m getting real sick of this. Her shit is all over the house.�

�Let�s go wake her up.�

�Go for it if you want your hand bitten off. She�s a beast in the morning.�

�Yeah, probably not wise. I�ll wait till after she gets her cigarette.�









�Hey.�

�Hey.�

�So hungover.�

�Me too. I think I need to slow down; I never even left the house today.�

�Me either. Puked three times.�

�Shit.�

�Did you ever see Susan?�

�Nope. Her car�s here though.�

�This mac and cheese is sprouting mold, look at this.�

�Gross.�

�Well, I need to puke again. See ya.�

�Enjoy.�









�Hey.�

�Hey.�

�Well today�s the day.�

�Oh yeah?�

�Job hunt.�

�Where you gonna start?�

�I don�t know. Probably just drive around and look for help wanted signs. They still do those, right?�

�Like I�d know?�

�It�s starting to stink in here. Where the hell is Susan?�

�I peeked in her room this morning. She�s in there sleeping.�

�When was that?�

�Like 12:30?�

�God. We should wake her up.�

�Be my guest.�

�You�re not going anywhere today are you?�

�Nah.�

�Make sure you catch her when she gets up.�

�Will do.�









�Hey.�

�Hey.�

�How�d the job hunt go?�

�Didn�t go. Got high and fell asleep on the couch. You were here all day, didn�t you see me?�

�I was in my room all day.�

�So we missed Susan again.�

�I�m not sure we missed her. Not sure she ever came out.�

�Jesus. I�m gonna wake her up right now.�

�Wow. I thought my room was messy.�

�It smells like shit in here.�

�She must have a dozen rotting sandwiches under all those clothes. I can spot three take-out boxes just on the surface.�

�I�m not going in there. It�s lethal even from out here.�

�Susan!�

�That�s not gonna work. She sleeps through everything. I was playing drums in my room for two hours yesterday and she didn�t even yell at me.�

�Fine. We�ll get her tomorrow.�











�Hey.�

�Hey.�

�Man, what happened yesterday? I lost my phone in the couch and missed three calls from the admissions guy. Now I�m not gonna get in this quarter.�

�Sorry man.�

�What the hell did we do all day?�

�I don�t even remember. Watched TV?�

�Maybe it�s this house. All this fucking clutter gets into my head. I can�t focus.�

�Yeah, but it�s because we can�t focus that the clutter got there in the first place.�

�Shit. Chicken or egg scenario.�

�Exactly.�

�Where the hell is Susan?�

�Haven�t seen her.�

�Let�s go drag her down here and have a cleaning party.�

�I�m in, let�s do it.�

�Oh my God it stinks in here. How can she live with this?�

�Susan!�

�I told you yelling�s not gonna work. Go shake her.�

�I don�t even think I can get to her bed through all this garbage and clothes. I need a snow shovel.�

Susan! You�re gonna get bed sores!�

�Wow, look how thin her hair�s getting. There�s big clumps of it on her pillow.�

�She bleached it like four times last month trying to get the right color �cause she didn�t want to go to a salon. Her scalp must be permanently scarred.�

�Have you seen her go outside at all this month? Christ, it�s the middle of July and her face is paler than my ass.�

�I noticed that. Is she depressed or something? What�s her deal?�

�No idea. She�s a pretty philosophical chick, maybe she thinks all our efforts our meaningless.�

�She�s also pretty hip, maybe she thinks people that try are trying too hard.�

�Or maybe she�s just lazy.�

�Or all of the above.�

�God, there are actually flies buzzing over her. Look at that.�

�I need to get a picture of this.�

�The flies won�t show up. It�ll just be a picture of Susan in bed. Not exactly news.�

�Yeah. Well anyway, should we just tackle the mess ourselves? It�d probably only take like twenty minutes.�

�I don�t know, maybe.�

�Yeah. Maybe.�

�I'm gonna go lie down for a bit.�

�Okay. Me too.�


�See ya later.


�Later.









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